Wasting Time

Lately I've been having a difficult time managing, well, my time. I've been busy working and writing for my local paper, sure, but there's still a lot of time that gets thrown away doing worthless things. Sure, we all have to have some down time, but I enjoy writing, so why am I not doing it? Well, the answer to that is simple. I'm not writing because I'm not writing.
Wait what? Yes, I wrote that correctly. Since I have a knack for planning and crafting stories but never writing them, a large pile of ideas has simply overwhelmed me enough that I avoid writing. It's taken me awhile to realize this, but this blog has helped.

Well...I might be dramatizing it a little bit... 

So what's the first step? Well, I'm taking a shot in the dark, but I'm going to start reading instead of doing the worthless things (video games and youtube, mainly). I have a whole shelf of books that I've bought or come into possession of that I've deemed "must-reads," thinking I'll learn something from them. Well, thing is, I haven't read hardly any of them. My thought is by reading, at least I'm being productive and shooting towards my goal of writing several hours a day, like I started doing last semester while taking a class on novel writing.
Of course, reading isn't writing. I'm going to eventually just have to force myself to sit down and do it, even against the large pile of concepts, ideas, plots, partially written short stories--you get it. Reading should get me in the "mood" to write, so that I won't have to force myself to do something I enjoy.
A lot of this mess will be solved by this time next week, when I'm completely done with work for the summer. I've given myself time to collect my thoughts before heading back to school after what will probably go down as one of the worst summers of my life.
Which leads me in another direction--writing comes hard if your own life isn't in check. It's pretty hard to write about an emotionally scarred police officer when you yourself don't have a grip on things. Sometimes it helps convey the mood--especially in poetry--but sometimes it really hinders your ability to "become" your character. A great example of this is The Quietside. It's first person, so I'm completely Cole when I'm writing. Or I should be. If issues in my life keep seeping through, Cole gets pushed to the side (which he really doesn't like) and will not act himself, which leads to a failing and illogical story.

So true.

Basically, I've discovered writing is a lot like running. It may appear to depend on skill, practice, and performance (aka quality of the writing) but it's about 90% mental. You could have the best physical body (or prose) in the world, but if your mind isn't there backing it up, you might as well sit it out. The mind is capable of anything. ANYTHING. I just need to tell myself I can write for several hours each day, and I will.
Note: For those of you who don't know me, I ran for about 10 years of my life in middle school, high school and a little bit in college before I hurt my ankle--I haven't been able to talk myself into starting again for more than a week or two.
This is why I started this blog. I need somewhere to talk myself through things.
These next two or three weeks will set the tone for this next year. I hope they're productive.